i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
