Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize