I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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