He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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