I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
