I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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