I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
