i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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