About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
