i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
