You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
