So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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