sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
