I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
