I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
