It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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