At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
