i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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