Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
