had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
