Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
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My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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