the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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