I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
This baby is an asshole
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize