We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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