member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
