Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
