im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
