i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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