I hate all girls vehemently.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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