the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
