BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
