Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize