I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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