Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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