Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Randomize
