So drunk its hurt
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
