During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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