so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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