i don't like sucking hair
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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