What did we do last night that was yellow?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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