Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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