the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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