ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
