too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
