I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize