so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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