I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
