Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Operation Purity has been aborted
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
