That's when you crack a 10am beer
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
