yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I don't deserve a penis
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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