Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
