he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
