So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.