my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
