We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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