I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
