i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
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i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
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No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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