just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
