help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
pray to the hookup gods
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
