nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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