Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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