Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
