I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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