so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
