This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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