Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
